November 29, 2018

What Meat Loaf Was Referring To

I would do anything for you—except talk to those motherfuckers at Mortgage Bank. —Eric

More Cowbell

Me: What are you doing to your exhaust?
Blake: Trying to make it sound like a Porsche.
Me: [side eye] Are you trying to make a loud car?
Blake: It's not loud...um...it's tuned. When you see what I create, you'll understand.

No Axes Allowed

Bobbi: Mike, we're having the lumberjack party here.
Mike: Those fuckers aren't coming in my house, though. 

OK, In the Ear

"If you can put that in your vagina, then surely I can put it her ear." —Sommer