School of Rock Dropouts

"Oh, I know Jack Black." —typical response to our Halloween costume, the White Stripes

Dumb It Down for Me

Chris H: Where are you in relation to Atrox Factory?
Bar employee: You mean how do ya get here from Atrox?

Occupation: It's Complicated

"Either you know you're a landlord or not." —Adam or Eric ?

I've Replaced the Italian Guy

Eric: Too bad no one's here.
Me: I'm here.
Eric: Yeah, but when we're together I feel like we're alone. I guess you've just
become the voice in my head.

Fashion *Plus* Beauty

"I love putting a toboggan on for, like, 5 minutes because it just electrifies
my hair." —Mickey

Telltale Signs

"Nobody except a vampire claps on the 1 and the 3. In parentheses: Al
Gore does it too." —Eric

It Began with Misdemeanor Borrowing

"Is this premeditated lighter-stealing?" —Eric

Had to Write It Down, No Idea What It's About

"Don't go retrospective with your death light." —Eric

How to Heckle a Hipster Jam Band

"Now, yell this out: 'Do it without the iPad!' " —Eric, to me, about Moon Taxi

Life of a 64-Year-Old

"Most of the time, when I'm not trying to figure out who Tyler Perry
is, I'm napping." -- Mickey

Grammar Nazi Corrects Self

"Where the hell is that cold air coming from? ... From where the hell
is that cold air coming?" —Eric