I'm Saving My Soul for the Big Money

"I don't mind. I'll put my heart and s--I'll put my heart into it." ~Alice

Kosher Coke: Not God's #1 Priority

"When you're talking about kosher, does it really matter if you're talking about a drug or a drink? Not technically, in God's eyes." ~Mark

The Definition of Rock 'n' Roll

"It just makes you want to grab a sledgehammer and do some blue-collar work when you hear it." ~Eric (on "Born to Run")

Eric Talks Smack

"Who are you? You're Kentucky. You're blue and white. And one of those isn't even a color." ~Eric

Why God Invented Heelys

Boy at store: I'm tired. I want to go home.
Mom: If you're so tired, when we get home, you can go straight to bed.
Boy: I don't want to go to bed. It's just that my legs can't walk anymore.

Trash No One Treasures

(overheard at estate sale)

Old lady 1: Demitasse cups. Who wants those?
Old lady 2: Someone might. You could give them as gifts.
Old lady 1: OK, I'll give them to you.
Old lady 2: You better not.

I Forgot, We *Don't* Throw Oranges At Each Other

"That's why we don't have food fights. It may be fun, but it's not worth the clean-up." ~Eric