Bro Code

He texted and said, "You around?" which is code for "Meet me at the Tilted Kilt and give me some Adderall." —Jason

What Lies Beneath

“Wherever there’s a body of water, someone’s going to put a body in it.” —Blake

The Future

Blake: They're going to have dogs.
Me: They're going to have robots.
Blake: They're going to have tiny little robotic dogs, because they're perfect and they don't fuck up.

Election 2016

"Here's the deal: What is wrong with everybody?" --Mike