Sophisticated Palate

"The only thing better than chicken in a biscuit is a sour cream and onion Pringle." —Phillip

School of Rock Dropouts

"Oh, I know Jack Black." —typical response to our Halloween costume, the White Stripes

Dumb It Down for Me

Chris H: Where are you in relation to Atrox Factory?
Bar employee: You mean how do ya get here from Atrox?

Occupation: It's Complicated

"Either you know you're a landlord or not." —Adam or Eric ?

I've Replaced the Italian Guy

Eric: Too bad no one's here.
Me: I'm here.
Eric: Yeah, but when we're together I feel like we're alone. I guess you've just
become the voice in my head.

Fashion *Plus* Beauty

"I love putting a toboggan on for, like, 5 minutes because it just electrifies
my hair." —Mickey

Telltale Signs

"Nobody except a vampire claps on the 1 and the 3. In parentheses: Al
Gore does it too." —Eric

It Began with Misdemeanor Borrowing

"Is this premeditated lighter-stealing?" —Eric

Had to Write It Down, No Idea What It's About

"Don't go retrospective with your death light." —Eric

How to Heckle a Hipster Jam Band

"Now, yell this out: 'Do it without the iPad!' " —Eric, to me, about Moon Taxi

Life of a 64-Year-Old

"Most of the time, when I'm not trying to figure out who Tyler Perry
is, I'm napping." -- Mickey

Grammar Nazi Corrects Self

"Where the hell is that cold air coming from? ... From where the hell
is that cold air coming?" —Eric

Calling BS

"Adam, there's no way, in all the knowledge in your head, that you have a top 10 list of the most biodegradable fruits." —Eric

White People Problems

I'm so upset. I had the hookup on some grape tomatoes, but the guy hasn't been in class because he had to go to Memphis to pick up a cow. -KatoKailyn

The Time Bomb Next Door

"I wouldn't want to be his neighbor because whoever's his neighbor, one day is going to have to testify in court." ~Eric

He Makes a Mean Old-Fashioned Too

"Frank Stitt is classically trained in French cooking, which is the pinnacle of culinary...whatever, something or other." ~Eric

Just Say No

"If there's one thing you can say about drug culture, it's that it's not cool." ~Mark

Poetic Justice

"I poked myself in the face intimidating you." ~Adam

Uncool by Association

Me: Hey, I know that guy.

Eric: God, don't admit that.

He Doesn't Do Metaphors

"You can't express something as profound as life after death using a couple of fetuses talking to each other." ~Eric

Not Getting Any Younger

"I'll give it 10 minutes. If this place doesn't shape up soon, I'm going to Above." ~girl in bathroom at Steel

The Invisible Emotion

"It's hard to document lonely. The camera doesn't pick up the desperation." ~Adam

Hipster Envy

"Life would be so much easier if we were all hipsters." ~Eric

The Line Is Drawn

"It wouldn't be unusual for me to read an article about networking when I'm on the toilet, but I'm not reading about SAN storage when I'm on the toilet." --Eric

Cheap Hotels

"Did you know hotels are not cheap anymore? They're like $80." —Amy